I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
