walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
