I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
