he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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