I don't usually arrange sex via text message
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Mom said you looked used
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize