I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
be right there i have to get my cape
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
