YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
