69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
