Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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