I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize