I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
