And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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