dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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