There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
