are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
