Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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