i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
