i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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