she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
