Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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