Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
