Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
