erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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