Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wish my penis had a tongue
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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