I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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