this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
