I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
