No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
