how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
