That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We're too hungover to prance.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
