you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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