i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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