she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
