What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
