I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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