he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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