i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
