soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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