You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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