you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
