Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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