we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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