? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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