I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
