Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
