If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Drake has all the answers
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
