i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
