You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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