i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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