belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
