pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
