I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
