i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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