Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
