I am puke
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
