I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
