I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize