dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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