He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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