his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
