Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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