Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
