I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
