there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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