I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's get the cat blown out
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
