I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize