Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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