I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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