No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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